Social distancing & civility with George Washington | BRIght & Early, BRI’s Student Web Series

0:05 hello young people of the internet welcome to another episode of Brighton early the Bill of Rights Institute bi-weekly web series my name is Rachel Davison Humphries I am the director outreach at Bri and former classroom teacher and I miss all you guys terribly especially in these times and I’m here with my colleagues Gary and Kirk hi guys

0:27 so today we’ve been thinking about all these new rules in our lives so I today had to go to a doctor’s appointment and I have to wear a mask everyone does whenever they go into the doctors and I have to stay six feet away from someone when I walk by them on the

0:48 sidewalk and there are a lot of rules now about what I can and cannot do and that got me thinking about rules in general and what rules I usually live by and which of those rules are legally enforced and which of those rules are just part of the culture that I’m a part of and so we’ve been thinking about all of these different things and what have

1:10 you guys been thinking about when it comes to the rules in your life yeah I was thinking about rules a lot too because again going back to the fact that so many classes are going online now it’s almost like the school year is starting again and then you know we’re always kind of thinking ahead there’s a lot of talk about what what the fall is gonna look like and so I always think of

1:31 rules in terms of when when context change then for groups to kind of function together you got to revisit those rules again and see and see if it can make it work about you Kirk yeah I agree and I think I think rules are a helpful thing to write because they they help us make sense of the world that is around us right and

1:52 helps us guide us and help us in inquiry so rules like the scientific method is a collection of rules right there they’re a series of things that you ought to do in order to ensure that your experiment is going to be a valid one but then they’re also personal rules that we all live by right like we might try to set rules for ourselves that say hey I’m

2:14 gonna get up every day by this time or I am going to five times a week exactly and so those you know that it’s funny when we talk about rules they come in lots of different forms and both external from us their internal from us but all of them really help us make sense and make choices I think throughout our days as we go about living our lives and so

2:36 something we talk about a lot is is reflection and our responsibility to be informed right so um we like I said there are a lot of rules right now there are a lot of rules about how we interact and I wonder how those rules were persist right are we going to go back to standing in like close contact with one

3:00 another are we going to change the way that we interact in real space because of the ways that we’ve been interacting on zoom’ how is work gonna change how is school gonna change and what new rules do we have to think about because the history of how social rules happen is really interesting so like we said

3:21 they’re like schools are external some rules are imposed upon us by authorities of one sense or another whether those are hierarchical authorities like when you go visit the Queen there are rules about how you interact right or when you visit dignitary they’re like written down rules but then there are lots of

3:42 informal rules like what you do when you go inside a church those rules aren’t written when you go into to a Cathedral right you like ooh don’t scream like they’re rules but does anyone ever teach you those rules or are those rules ever talk to it like were they ever written down how did they emerge those are really interesting social questions um that we can think about what I want to

4:04 toss it to Gary because we’ve been thinking about what this new culture online looks like with all its new rules so Gary what you got yeah no absolutely as you said we’ve sort of think of think of classrooms and what they mean and and right now many of you may be starting to

4:26 have new versions of classrooms that are online and for all of us who are having virtual meetings we’ve sort of had to go through a small process of learning how we we may know how the software works but the how to conduct a meeting and how to interact is almost like starting a school year all over again I mean even

4:46 though the three of us we’re we haven’t worked out the when someone talks how do we do it right we’re watching listening for each other when there’s a contribution that that’s on the topic we’re part of that um so it really made me think of how school years tended to start and looking at right now is almost like the start of

5:08 a brand brief little school year and who knows what September will look like so so I thought a lot about how the rules in in at least the classroom I taught in and I’m sure in many classrooms that you’re in our an interesting combination of allowing freedom or improvisation but also having some kind of structure and when we did that in our classes that’s

5:29 actually how we did it but we took a look at rules of improv so I’m gonna share that with you right now improvisation is really interesting because on the one side you do want that freedom of choices and expression you really want to find where where you are as a community as a group but for that to happen there are for lack of a better

5:51 word rules right in the same way that our conversation has certain rules of when to talk and when not to and what we’re gonna talk about and things like that for it to function for the group to sort of make sense and do what it’s trying to do there are some kind of guidelines and so we often looked at the way improv comedy works these are not my

6:12 rules in fact they’re sort of a compilation from a various sources that you can take a look at improv comedians over years I’ve put together sort of guidelines people like del clothes or David Alger or Tina Fey who you may know but there are some general things that people have found that really help

6:33 groups function and these are the ten I won’t dwell on all of them but you’ll notice that it’s an interesting set of of ways that you can contribute and ways that you can porta groups function the first one being a classic one which is yes and the idea that whatever’s happening that you start with the intention of of supports

6:57 and building on that in some way so rather than saying no and closing the door and something that’s not a very interesting story if in the first couple of sentences a character said nope that’s it you can’t go anywhere from that and so classrooms are like that to go with it if you’re in a particular class see what there is to stay and see

7:17 how you contribute this involves other personal behaviors for the group as well as in being honest sort of knowing you know what what contributions you can have and making statements being part of the solution respecting other people and their ideas can allow a conversation to happen instead of putting a wall in between and as we said before this has a

7:37 lot to do with just listening to each other but also making active choices to support whatever is going on finding your role in it again it’s it’s a group if there’s a group and a classroom or or something like that and one person is dominating you know what that’s like it just doesn’t function super well no matter who that person is um sometimes

7:57 those choices are gonna force you to go out of your comfort zone a little bit so the more you learn and the more you build yourself the more of those choices might you might find something kind of exciting happening and think of those obstacles or mistakes or when things go sideways not as being mistakes but as opportunities to to learn from it the most important thing is to find joy in

8:18 what you’re doing even if it’s a little bit tough if you’re gonna be part of it there’s probably something joyful to find so that’s my contribution for this week’s observe and journal part which I kind of like to do if you have just joined us it’s a good opportunity while you are doing what you are doing right now to observe the world around you to

8:39 observe what you yourself are doing and thinking and maybe journal it in some way and think what are some of the rules and as a Rachel was saying these may be spoken rules rules that are established or it could be just understood that never formally get written down anywhere but these rules what are some rules that help groups function

8:59 help conversations happen and I could mean families it could mean in your class if you’re having an online class what are things that help that class progress and don’t stop it or make it go in a direction you don’t want it to go in the same four big communities and whole societies and think where do these rules come from

9:19 again there’s external rules that often come from those who have thought about it some who have some expertise but sometimes they are ones you can maybe question or think about how do they get to be that way or ones that have just sort of originated organically from within a group itself and then of course another big question is if these rules

9:41 are happening what is our role in next is it just to follow or is it to contribute in some way and spoiler I think it’s I think it’s the latter myself there’s a really great resource and series of resources that beer I have on this on defining classroom citizenship and we’ll have links to that that have you kind of

10:01 think about the origins of how these things come about in our society and even in your classroom and I encourage you to take a look at that in our resources of defining classroom citizenship thanks so much Gary and I think that’s that’s so important and one of the things about the ways that communities and communities have lots of different

10:22 definitions so you your as I’ve talked about in our de Tocqueville conversation very early on you are a member of many associations right so a different different associations are organized groups that have different rule sets right the way that you talk with people on your baseball team and the rules in in that community are gonna be very

10:44 different than how you engage with your church youth group which is gonna be different than how you engage with your improv club your comedy club that you’re a part of or how you engage in a classroom or at work or in a doctor’s office and so there are all these nested sets of community rules that we all

11:05 engage with and that’s been known to people for a long time that this is you you as a young person now really starting to be critical of these rules and sometimes maybe question them and push them and see what happens if you don’t follow them you are the first person to want to do that I used to do that I know Gary used to do that I also know Kirk used to do that and so I we’re

11:30 gonna talk a little bit about somebody who had a whole set of rules that he was working through right Kirk yeah that’s right and you know I think he’s well known George Washington is his name if you haven’t heard of him he was the first president noted States and also a general in both the French and Indian War and the American Revolution but but

11:52 it’s interesting and thinking about so Gary’s talking a lot about community rules and Raich was mentioning communities and I think those are really important I think one of the biggest lists of rules that we have the United States is the Constitution it’s nothing other than a set of rules that the government must abide by which is why it exists as it does is a public document

12:13 that’s meant to hold the government accountable to those things that it has been charged with by the people um converse to that though there are rules that we all have as individuals right and I mentioned this when we first are talking but there’s there’s rules in how it is that we present ourselves there’s rules and sort of how it is that we act when we’re in company with others and

12:35 some of those are created sort of informally but sometimes in thinking about those things in thinking about etiquette which is a word that’s right none uses much now but but etiquette used to be etiquette schools there used to be there’s a whole tradition of different etiquette that you can learn about and a lot of those were were as much about keeping I think all within

12:56 the community as they are about you being aware of your own actions and how they’re being seen by others right so yeah I see Rachael sticking out I’m wearing a suit today to demonstrate this a little bit that you know when we’re going to a formal setting sometimes we’ll wear something that’s a little bit nicer then we might wear other times just given the setting that were in and

13:16 so these things are what George Washington thought a bit about when he was but 15 and I and so George Washington when he was 15 I think rich figure you were talking about how he wrote I understand it might be apocryphal but so Garrett like I’m not sure that this is

13:37 where it roles of stability I’ve heard different versions yeah what I’ve heard different versions but my understanding is he was like a 14 15 16 year-old young person and this was his notebook where he there so they have all these things what were they called they were called um I can’t remember the name of the books that people keep notes in about different different things that were

13:59 inspiring to them but he had he was asked to write down these Rules of Civility by some instructor in his life some person in authority was like young mr. Washington you really should write down the Rules of Civility that you intend to follow and so this was like an assignment from a teacher which I always

14:20 like to think about as I read through these what is a hundred and ten different rules that he had written in his notebook yeah the try and I’ll include the link to where I found this version of them I think it is the standard 110 version I know Mount Vernon has done a lot with these but but they’re really interesting to read through and I think it shows it shows

14:41 that a lot of these are about how it is that one presents themselves to thee to the world right and so it’s being mindful of that but it’s also that these are coming also from the society that he’s growing up in so a lot of it has a lot of hierarchical language it’s a little bit different than the way that we might see things now but I just want

15:01 to highlight a few of these because I think they show our connection to the past and are really profound away because he’s struggling with a lot of similar things that we struggle with so um you know rule number one here and I don’t know if they were in any order but the first one is every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present

15:22 alright so pay attention to surroundings know who you’re talking about show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he we’re your enemy be kind to other people pay it you know don’t don’t talk ill of anyone even when something bad happens a and you might be frustrated with that person you know don’t don’t think II love them it’s it’s unbecoming as they

15:42 would say of a person this one I found interesting just given that we’ve all been talking a lot about illnesses lately and I’m sure we all have friends who know everything that’s going on but it says in visiting the sick do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing they’re in meaning if you don’t know what you’re talking about

16:03 maybe just reserve your judgment a little bit let experts talk about it you know I so these things aren’t new right he’s wrestling with some of these inner apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature rather than to procure admiration keep the fashion of your equal such as our civil and orderly with respect to time and place I find

16:24 this one really interesting just maybe as a maybe because I’m a girl but like accommodate rape nature rather than rather than procure admiration is very much like where things that showcase you and not things that are like just for

16:44 fashions sake right and then the second one what I like thinking about when I think about the Rules of Civility is what if you lived in a society where everyone did this how would society be different or like what is the intention in this rule and the second rule keeps to the fashion of your equals such as

17:05 are civil and orderly with respect to time and place I think what he’s saying there is dressed like those people who are respectable is that was that how you read that I do I think he I think he’s saying a couple things there I think he’s he’s saying don’t give above yours don’t get above your station which is a little bit more hierarchical than we

17:26 would probably go to today but I also he’s saying yeah pay attention to where you’re going to don’t don’t dress outlandish Lee for the sake of getting attention and in I don’t put these out here to say this is the right way to think about fashion or the wrong way you know I it’s it’s just what he thought but I think his intention was to say have had the attention brought to you

17:48 for things that are of your character and stow don’t have your clothing or other other things be the things drawing attention yeah I think it’s if I can live in may I of course carry thank you so much I think it is similar to what we’re saying before it’s an interesting question in

18:08 terms of what effect would it have otherwise so so from the discussion we’re having if you were to not do this right if you were to dress out of respect of time and place what would that do and what would that do if everyone did that but then itself if everyone did it then it would be a new rule in a stranger don’t ever do it

18:32 right know why you’re doing it when you do so right there’s an intentionality to the body do you like how you’re expressing yourself absolutely yeah and I think that intentionality is what really runs through these Rules of Civility so it’s about being civil but that civility is being intentional about the choices that you’re making and so here’s 73 is exactly that think before

18:54 you speak pronounce not even perfectly Norbury out your words too hastily but orderly indistinctly know what you’re gonna say say it clearly and be very clear and how it is your communicator I also like some of these are about how we eat so develop about when you’re sitting with others be mindful of how it is that it looks like

19:15 when you’re eating so if you soak you bread in the sauce well I guess there’s only one sauce then there’s many but if you soak bread in the sauce would it be no more than what you put in your mouth at a time and blow not your broth at table but stay till it cools of itself so don’t rush to eat something be mindful of how you’re eating don’t

19:36 sloppily eat these are all things their parents but you know met probably told us when we were growing up don’t chew with your mouth open don’t oh don’t be rude but the final one here number hundred and ten I think speaks to the entire list which says labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience I mean there he’s saying these rules are

19:57 meant and I think all the rules that we make for ourselves rules and etiquette rules and how we dress about not that they shouldn’t be questioned but instead that they should have intentionality we should understand what we’re doing and why we’re doing it and we should pay attention that goes right to other themes that we’ve talked about about thinking about the news thing about how we consume information thinking about

20:18 how we share information on social media it’s all about being intentional about why you’re doing something it’s being thoughtful about what you’re reading being a critical consumer of information and the same goes for our behavior know know what it is that you’re doing when you’re doing it and you’re probably halfway to meeting many of Washington’s Rules of Civility and in working through some of those

20:40 personal rules that you may have for yourself which then directly relate to how does it be interact with one another in communities absolutely and I love I love the rules of civility and one of the reasons I love them is because I really am fascinated by the history of manners and how what is appropriate got

21:01 to be deemed appropriate or inappropriate I think that that one of the things that when I saw when I was at when I was a teacher in the classroom I often worked in schools where everyone would sit down to like a plated meal together where we would set the table and everyone would sit down and we’d all

21:21 then clear the table so one of the first conversations we had to have is why do the forks go on the left and the spoons and knives go on the right and do the bread and drink with your hands why is that why does any of that happen for those of you that don’t know if you go like this one makes a beat and one makes a D and the side with the B is where the

21:42 bread goes inside with the D is where the drink goes another trick for remembering where silverware goes in English the letter Fork has four letters and the word left has four letters and the word spoon and knife have five letters so does the word right so if you’re ever confused there’s a little little tip for how to set a table but

22:05 one of the things that I always was wondering is like why why why does it look like why does it matter and I finally got an answer when I was like in my 20s and that the answer that and it satisfied me and guys I’m curious to hear your thoughts the answer for was that for the group that’s in that that’s

22:28 that knows the rules by having a set of rules for how people engage in the dining room setting allows people to relax because they know what to expect that it creates a set of very clear expectations that like appetizers happen

22:49 first and then the main course and then dessert and you know what the where the silverware is and which ones you’re supposed to use now the caveat there is that’s for the in group what it also does is creates an out group and so when you’re thinking about the rules of your community it’s always good to think about what in group are you creating and

23:11 then secondarily what out group are you creating by those sets of rules had you guys heard or thought about that stuff before yeah it’s funny if I may go next thank you thank you thank you so much it’s funny because it goes back to I think we have different we all have different perspectives on that right because I I when you’re telling that and

23:34 thinking about how I had learned a lot about it goes back to sort of what I was saying before about sociology and something within that called functionalism yes right that it serves a function that is how it organically happens so the reason not see I learned the reason knives are on the right is a most of the population is right and

23:55 early on knives were the only utensil and so therefore it sort of has just become habit to do so and then that plays into what you’re saying in terms of you know because it’s become habit then it becomes sort of the comfortable way to do it over generations what I find interesting is also looking not only in-group and out-group but also not

24:17 only what the differences are but what are the manners and behaviors that are consistent across cultures around the world why are there certain things that no matter what you go it is very consistent that is an interesting one because that to me is it’s a true true mark of something that that is part of function something that might be even considered human nature no

24:38 yeah I I think it’s I I think it’s really interesting and I’ve thought a lot about this but one I think very clear example if anybody wants to go in and watch a rewatch a show with perhaps a different lens after watching this episode Downton Abbey is a wonderful showcase of very precise rules and of a

24:58 society that like Rachel says was was trying to create that very much created an in-group and out-group there are very formal rules for how did you interact Jane Austen’s books are actually good for this too when it comes to romantic relationships Pride and Prejudice is very much set in a setting where there are different worlds that are that are trying to inter mesh with one another

25:20 and run into some roadblocks because of etiquette questions right and and I think that that’s that’s really interesting and there’s a lot to unpack there on the other side too there’s a sense that and this is a part of the human nature question human beings like to create orderly settings and in trying to create that orderly setting the more wealth you have it seems the more you

25:42 can almost try to create the perfect setting for yourself with these rules and so it goes from setting like fork on the you know oh my goodness I’ve already forgotten but knife on the right fork on the left – no it’s knife on the right and then it’s butter knife and it’s you know desert knife and then tea spoon and also you know salad form advertising and

26:04 yeah in putting spoon and and so you have these things that it just builds and builds and builds the system and all of it is trying to perfect it so as to all others also and sort of these these shows of wealth and everything else and and that can be good or bad I think but I think it’s interesting to see how it is that human beings use use those things both as creating these groups but

26:25 also in showcasing something about themselves again it comes back to those choices – making deliberate choices in order to create something which i think is really interesting and we and we were talking earlier just not on the cup not on not on the video about whether whether these rules are self-serving or other serving whether they whether they are for the sake of showcasing something

26:48 about you or for the sake of saying something about who you’re engaging with and then the other big thing we touched on is that all also just society of all’s that’s the nature of it right and so all social rules are always open for interpretation and they’re always open to be questioned but it’s about doing

27:08 that intentionally and asking what are the consequences of disrupting this particular set of rules what would be the consequences of not letting people speak what would be the consequences of not not setting the table right like just having it and we do this right now picnic is a very different situation

27:29 it’s just a bucket of utensils you know in in the center of the picnic blanket right you don’t need those rules there’s a there’s a there’s a flexibility to human interaction in modern society a lack of formal a lack of formalism which allows us to adapt and engage in tests and change but

27:51 intentionally so there are quite a few if you’re interested in this if you want to kind of nerd out as you know we are all very much nerds bill Rights Institute so if you wanted to nerd out there are a couple of great resources where you can go to nerd out about the history of manners if you’re not familiar with the New York Times

28:11 Learning Network they have a lot of great kind of student facing resources and then there’s really actually very fun ted-ed on the history of manners the history of the history of ideas as it relates to manners and you can play around in there gentlemen anything more to say I’m passing the baton to you all now I appreciate you know I appreciate

28:33 the discussion and getting deeper into even how we do the things that we do even having this conversation today it’s sort of a delight having a new lens of how did we come together for what purpose and what intentions and how do we lay ourselves out is a really interesting question in this new era that we’re in right now yeah I agree I think

28:53 I think thoughtfulness is always something that is that is good to foster and I think this I mean who knew you could start thinking so deeply about the rules that are around you that you might not even think about all the time yeah well we that’s what we’d love to do and that’s what we love to do with you young people of the internet is dive into what’s happening right now on our on our

29:14 little show so again we always love to hear from you please tweet comment do all the things that you do to let us know how we’re doing and what you want to talk about and how you want to talk about it we are here for you and it’s fun for us but we want to make sure this is what you’re what you’re interested in so let us know in the comments subscribe we’ll be back next week thanks very much

29:38 thanks everybody